It has been a while since I have posted and I miss my bro everyday. Some days are better than others. Sometimes, I experience pure joy. Sometimes that makes me happy – other times it makes me a tad guilty. You see, I always knew that my Bro and I would be there for each other, through everything life threw at us and we were. Time and time again, such amazing love and support we had for each other. We stood by either other through our parent’s divorce, Mom’s dementia and passing, Dad’s Alzheimer’s. I knew that my brother would always be there for me and I would be there for him. Then he got hurt and got sad and I was positive that I could, and would, see him through it. My brother always told me that I could not save everyone and everything, and as usual, he was right. In the end, I could not save my Bro and I am immensely sad about that. My bro and I did not have kids, and are not married but we knew we would grow old together and everything would be OK. I cannot go back in time and save my bro. Maybe Scott is saved. He got to decide how and when to end his life. Although, the why still pains me, I am grateful that he made the choice. I also learned how short life can be, what is important and that most things are not. I experience joy in a beautiful sunset, the warmth of the sun or the beauty of the sea. My brother is in all of that. I will forever have him in my heart. Miss you, Bro…. Baby Sis
Scott was a sensitive soul, and I miss my cousin.
I posted in support of him for a long time when he was communicating from Colombia, and I experienced anxiety when he was in that violent place, and had concern for his well being.
I have gone through some deep depressions in my life, so I could relate to some of his feelings before he died. Life is very short, and it is important to find comfort to assuage sad feelings.
Thanks for posting, Debbie.